Yeah, everyone warns you about how painful labor is. Everyone will tell you ALL about the sleep-deprivation that's to be expected and the baby body fluids you can expect to have spewed on you.
What no one ever talks about though? How horrible the hormones are postpartum. I mean, seriously, I think I've gotten off kinda light because I've only cried for 2 weeks and it's getting less and less each day and not an entire month.
NOW I'm starting to hear the stories.
NOW I'm hearing the truth about how many of my less-new-than-me mommy friends spent the entire first month at home with their babies crying all day!
NOW I'm hearing how many of them HAD to have their own moms come over and stay or be sent to family to help them because they were practically crippled by it all.
Wish I had known that 13 days ago. Because for the first solid week, I cried at EVERYTHING! And I felt completely alone and felt like there was no way in the world I could do it all by myself... which I had to start doing Monday when both mom and Hubs both went to work. Then, my mom went to church and cried herself because there was nothing she could do to help me, and the other new moms started telling their own stories. She came home and shared them with me and suddenly, I knew I wasn't alone.
It just isn't talked about. We're all supposed to just KNOW it all and be able to do it all and if we don't - fake it in public!
So to all of you about to pop or still trying to get there - just know in advance that the first couple weeks or months postpartum - yuck! You think the IF meds are rough? No contest. I'd take the Provera (the worst one for me) any day over this mess. My friends and OB assure me that in another couple weeks/another month I'll be feeling almost 100% again.
I sure hope so. Normal hormones was one of the (very few) things I really looked forward to about not being pregnant any longer. I want to feel like I did 38 months ago.
My sister said that she would find herself rubbing her belly after my nephew was born. When she caught herself doing it, she would cry because he was no longer there.
ReplyDeleteJust remember, if you can beat IF you can beat anything. Keep your chin up woman! And just keeping focusing on that beautiful baby boy by your side :)
People totally forget to tell new moms about this. But that's because they get over into month 4 and 5 where they can diaper feed change play with and burp their baby with one arm while cooking with the other hand like a pro and totally forget about that first month where they thought they couldn't go on. The memory is a tricky thing. But your post just made me remember not wanting to leave the hospital because i didn't know what i would do without the nurses. LOL! i was begging to stay! haha a mess.
ReplyDeleteUgh....you just made me so happy that we've kicked IF to the curb and moved on to adoption. I'm so so sorry that you're feeling this right now! And I love how you've highlighted that silver lining about how it's a little bit better after 2 weeks. Keep on keeping on!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, Alison! It WILL get better though, usually around the 6 weeks mark things start to fall into place and the hormones calm down too.
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation, people did tell me about this beforehand but I still wasn't prepared. I cried for 2 weeks solid and then still occasionally for the next few weeks. It is just so overwhelming, everything, good and bad. It sounds like you have good support from your mum and hubby though which is worth a lot!
Hope it gets easier for you soon.
Oh sweetie, you are so totally not alone. I am so glad that you have your mama and your dear husband to love you and support you as you navigate these new emotions. Are there any parent groups that you can sign up for? We have an awesome mommy and me program that includes lots of discussion about postpartum emotions. The therapist I used to see even runs a support group for new moms who are feeling overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteI've been worried about postpartum depression, since I've had a few episodes of intense anxiety/depression in my past. My OB actually urged me to keep taking my antidepressants during the pregnancy, or at the very least told me that she would insist that I start taking them the day that I give birth. She explained that IF is a big risk factor for PPD, and encouraged me to make sure that I had extra help lined up for after the birth specifically so that I wouldn't be at home alone with the baby.
Dear girl, I hope that you are feeling better soon. Until then, give that sweet babe extra kisses and ask for all the help you need. love you - Foxy